Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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