He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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