At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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