I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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