We named our party play list daddy issues
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
