I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
