I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
