mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize