She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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