FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
