Welp...herpes.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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