how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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