I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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