Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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