All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
