Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
