This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
soo... how was my night?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
