worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
