everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize