You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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