Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
