i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
