wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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