There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
