my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize