Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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