Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize