Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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