so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
