Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
love makes seman taste better
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
