Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
