I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
