I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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