flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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