dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
