If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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