There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
