if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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