So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
