Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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