I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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