so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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