Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
