i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
