Someone shit on the floor
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It's never too late to be topless.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Randomize
