birth control should be required to get into college
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
