I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
