I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
