Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
