i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just invented taco cereal.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
