Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
