we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
