I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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