mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
