im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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