if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
