is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i dont even know how to be here
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
