bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
