HIV tests are more positive than that guy
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
