Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
