escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
