escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
His nipple licking is glorious
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