Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
