I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
