it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
