I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
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