don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
